Developing and establishing a new Habit (ability, skill, virtue, behavior)
by Atman Nityananda
When we try to get rid of a harmful habit and develop in its place a new beneficial habit, get rid of a habitual defensive strategy that limits us or eliminate a selfish and limiting tendency, getting rid of the habit or tendency and learning to cultivate and be consistent in the expression of the new habit, virtue or behavior will require a lot of practice, determination, patience, consistency and perseverance.
In the early stages of this process it may be difficult to consistently keep up the practice for a variety of reasons (resistance to practice, low self-confidence, impatience, lack of acceptance, doubts about our ability to succeed, fear of failure, annoyance with the persistent expression of the old habit, fear of the unknown, etc.).
It is part of the process of creating a new habit or eliminating a selfish tendency to have ups and downs, triumphs and failures, to feel disappointed, to doubt our ability to succeed. We cannot avoid it, but if we insist and persevere in our efforts, we will succeed and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.
- So don’t give up for any reason or any argument that your inner saboteur may use to make you feel powerless and stop working.
- Keep working at it, being certain that in the end you will get it no matter how much effort or time it may take.
- Let go of the sweet will of the lower vital ego that wants to get everything easily (without much or any effort), pleasurably and quickly, i.e., I can’t wait, I want it here and now.
- Leave the comfort zone in which the lower vital ego wants to live forever.
- Get out of the zone of false security and learn to feel secure in the midst of insecurity (because nothing is totally secure).
- Finally, stay firm in your purpose to achieve the new habit or whatever you have decided, have the attitude, I will achieve it in despite of all the difficulties, challenges and adversities (internal -mainly- and external), there is no doubt about it. I will do my best and everything necessary to achieve it, regardless of the adversities , nothing can make me deviate or abandon my endeavor.
Make a plan, set goals, break them down into smaller ones, celebrate the small progress you make, make changes to the plan if necessary, seek help, find new ways to help you move forward, all life is with you, to help you succeed even through challenging paths and experiences.
- Keep it simple
- Be practical
- Use common sense
- Be open minded
- Be flexible
- Feel free to make changes in your strategy, approach and methods. Making small or major changes in your plan is not a sign of failure, but instead signs of motivation to continue working on it, of resilience, of understanding the situation, capacity to be open and feel comfortable to new methods and approaches, of flexibility, open mindedness and adaptability.
Once you build the habit (ability, behaviour, emotional or mental state) to a high level and get used to it in one aspect of your life, then you can more easily develop it in other aspects.
If, for example, you have built up the ability to successfully manage your anger and have freed your mind from anger in relation to a particular routine situation with your partner and you consistently manifest a new reaction or behaviour, it will be easier for you to manage your anger in other situations with your partner and with other people (friends, colleagues, boss, etc.). In addition, you will be able to more easily succeed in managing and eliminating other tendencies.
Similarly, if you have managed to develop a new habit (i.e., listening mindfully to your partner) or skill and apply it consistently in one aspect of your life, you will find it easier to express it in other aspects and develop other habits and skills as well.
Read also: Methodology to make changes and achieve our goals
It is part of the process of creating a new habit or eliminating a selfish tendency to have ups and downs, triumphs and failures, to feel disappointed, to doubt our ability to succeed. We cannot avoid it, but if we insist and persevere in our efforts, we will succeed and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.
🌺 Peace, Love, Harmony
atmannityanada 